No, not the song, but what I have. I keep thinking I am tired, and then my mind goes through tons of thoughts about this process. So I attempt to visualize - see myself getting the positive and being pregnant and delivering.
But I am nervous, I am nervous to be hopeful again. I feel raw. I have been so snappy and in a bad mood lately, I am hoping I don't get my depression back, Iggy and Andrew deserve better than that.
I feel so greedy too, like my son is not enough. Also, at the checkout line when I was buying pregnancy tests with Iggy in cart, the cashier made the comment that she hoped I get better results than she did - she has been trying to have kids for 4 years. Here I am feeling bad about my journey with my own child in my basket.
I know part of this funk is just recognizing it is what it is and not to get upset with Andrew or Iggy. Just to think before I react or say something that I will regret later when this rawness is over.
On another note, I have a life insurance physical tomorrow. That is at least one stressor to be removed from column A.
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